


The White Elephant

by momothesweet



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Holidays, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 00:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momothesweet/pseuds/momothesweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmastime, and the squad has decided to participate in white elephant, a fun gift exchange similar to secret Santa. Levi is secretly thrilled to get a gift for Erwin, but what is he going to get him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my Tumblr. Happy holidays!  
> Dedicated to Meghan.

Of course, he showed no emotion when he pulled the name from the potato sack.

But on the inside his stomach flared and his heart dropped to where it was engulfed in the fire.

Levi got to pick a present for Erwin.

He looked up and around at the young soldiers, all of them either ecstatic or confused. They were all getting comfortable in the living room of the cabin. Levi sat comfortably at the end of an old couch, observing their faces.

"Oh man, this’ll be easy!" Armin exclaimed, looking at the slip of paper he pulled.

Mikasa looked over his shoulder. “You’d only have to get a pota-“

"Shh!" Armin said, turning around. "We’re not supposed to let the person know! You’re not even supposed to look at mine!"

Mikasa coolly looked at Armin. She looked at her slip, and placed it into her pant pocket. “Then you won’t know who I’m getting a gift for.”

"Fair enough," he mused.

"Ugh, how am I supposed to know what this dope likes?" Jean asked himself.

"But that’s not the point," Historia said. "You could get him a gag gift. That’s how it works!"

"What the hell’s a ‘gag’ gift?"

As Historia tried to explain to Jean how it worked, Levi tuned them out and looked down again at Erwin’s name scribbled on the piece of paper. He knew everything about him. His fighting style, his leadership skills, his battle tactics, how he parts his hair in the morning…

Everything except his interests.

Erwin never seemed like the type to have hobbies outside of killing titans. He had done almost nothing besides work through plans for the next titan ambush with Levi; he simply left and sat outside to look at the sky or the forest surrounding the cabin whenever he got the chance to visit. It’s been so busy these past several years. Perhaps Erwin didn’t have time to have an interest.

Or, maybe, titans were his interest.

No, now he’s just not thinking straight. Levi rubbed his head with one hand and crumpled the paper in the other. He saw Eren approach him.

"What’s wrong, heichou?" Eren asked, taking a seat next to him on the couch. "I thought you said you wanted to do this."

Levi looked at Eren with his dead expression. “Nothing, Jaeger. And I didn’t necessarily have a choice, did I? If I didn’t participate, someone would end up without a gift. I wouldn’t want to have any more hearts broken in this house.”

Eren wondered whether or not that was sarcasm, then got up and turned to Mikasa and Armin after failing to do so.

"Alright everyone," Levi said, in a raised voice. "I have some ground rules if we’re all going to move forward with this. One person at a time leaves to go find something for their recipient. Take someone else with you in case anything happens. You all have a week to do this. I will go last, on Christmas Eve. Hanji, tell Erwin who he needs to buy a present for when you see him later today."

Hanji took the almost-empty potato sack from Levi, and took the last piece of folded paper out of the sack and into her bag, already around her shoulder and saluted, “Yes, sir!”

"But heichou," Connie said, sitting on the floor on top of a burgundy rug, "What about titans?"

Hanji laughed as she headed towards the front door. “The weather’s been changing, Connie. It’s been cloudy out. The titans aren’t very active, based on what we’ve seen so far.”

"Still," Levi said, "It’s dangerous to go alone. Hide your 3D maneuver gear when you go into town, but don’t reveal yourself as a member of the Survey Corps. And it’s best to go during the day, while it’s still cloudy."

"Because of the recent night attacks?" Jean asked.

Levi stood up. “Precisely.”

He walked out of the living room, towards the kitchen and out the back door. He looked up at the sunless sky, then looked back down to his hand, still holding the crumpled piece of paper with Erwin’s name on it.

The heat inside of him died down, but an ember still sent a warmth through his chest.

_"What hell am I going to get you…"_

 


	2. Chapter 2

"My gift is perfect for my person!" Sasha said. Her remark brightened up the room as a few others helped prepare for dinner.

"It didn’t have to be perfect," Jean said, chopping the potatoes slower than Sasha peeling them. "That’s what Historia told me. That’s why it’s called white elephant, not secret Santa."

"Speaking of which, I hope my person has a good sense of humor," Connie muttered as he grated a block of aged cheese. "Hey guys, who is this ‘Santa’ person anyway?"

Sasha smiled again. “Well, Armin was telling me that in one of his books-“

"Sasha."

She dropped the potato she was peeling and turned to the deep voice in the corner. “Yes, sir?”

Levi pulled down his mask and put the broom and dust pan back in the corner with the other cleaning supplies. He had been sweeping the upper floor of the cabin. “Has Eren returned yet?”

She nodded. “In the living room, sir.”

He nodded back, and walked to the room. Mikasa watched Eren and Armin laugh about something he couldn’t hear from the antique couch. Historia was on the floor leaning back against the couch, tying a blue ribbon on silver box. She was laughing, too.

"Eren."

The laughing ceased. Everyone looked towards Levi at the threshold of the living room. Even after post-housekeeping, he still looked unsatisfied and disconnected from the rest. Levi turned back around and headed for the front door, knowing that Eren will follow.

The sky was still cloudy, and it it looked like it wasn’t going to change for another few weeks. "It must be quiet outside the walls," he thought as he gazed into the sunless, grey nothingness. It was Christmas Eve, but nothing outside felt like it.

"Heichou, is something wrong?" he heard Eren ask from behind.

Levi looked down, and kicked what was left of the dead grass. He pivoted to look at Eren straight in the eye. “I need your help.”

He saw Eren’s face harden and his feet plant to the lifeless ground. He straightened his back and tilted his chin up. His fists were clenched. “Of course,” he said. “When there isn’t sun and the people are finally starting to believe that the season will be a peaceful one, of course they-“

"This isn’t about titans, Eren," Levi said. "I wouldn’t have asked just you, if that were the case."

Eren’s face softened up, his fists loosening and spine slowing and slightly sinking back into himself. He shook off Levi’s last quip (after all, it was holiday season, and he didn’t want to piss off Levi). “If it isn’t titans, then what is it?”

"You’re going to come with me tonight to help me find a gift for Commander Erwin."

He flinched. Eren’s face read “confusion” all over. “B-but sir, haven’t you known Erwin for a long time? And I thought we weren’t supposed to know-“

"Yes," Levi said. He dismissed that last part of Eren’s sentence. "Erwin saved my life. And tonight, you’re going to do the same by helping me find something for him."

He still looked confused. Levi didn’t care.

"Be out here after dinner," he said. "And don’t forget your gear."

—-

The ride into town was quiet. The streets were empty, with the exception of one or two people straggling through the alleyways. It was almost closing time for many of the shops around town. The two stopped at where Eren found his gift for Historia. It was a small shop with a wooden sign above it that simply read “Gifts.”

"I got Historia a kaleidoscope here," Eren said.

Levi looked at him, still with a dead expression. “And how does that pertain to the ‘white elephant’ theme of this exchange?”

Eren looked around. Nobody within earshot could hear him, and the doors to the shop were closed. “Well, her alias was Krista Lenz, so I thought I could get something that sort of played along with her name. LIke, the colored pieces look like crystals, and the kaleidoscope is sort of like looking through a lense, and…”

His voice trailed off, but Levi kept staring at him. It was silent. Eren was terrified that he would suddenly pull out his blades and chuck him in the neck, right there in the middle of the street in front of a small gift shop. Was it a stupid idea?

No, it wasn’t. “You’re not as dumb as I thought you were,” Levi finally said.

Eren exhaled, then glared at Levi as he entered the gift shop before him.

The tiny shop was cramped with shelves full of knick knacks and whittled figurines. An old lady sat at the back of the shop, giving a friendly smile to the two of them. She probably didn’t remember that Eren came in earlier that day. Hell, she probably didn’t even see him.

"What exactly does Erwin like?" Eren asked.

"Don’t say killing titans, don’t say killing titans, don’t say killing titans…"

"Planning things," Levi said flatly. He almost wanted to dive inside the colossal titan’s mouth after giving Eren such as stupid answer. "And colored smoke."

"Um…okay."

Levi looked through the shelves in the aisles of the shop. There were old champagne flutes, etchings of reptiles wearing clothes, and a few ceramic unicorns with military police officers riding them. There was even a small, wooden figurine of Eren’s titan form. Levi huffed after seeing that.

What was Levi supposed to get for the one person he cared for the most? It had to be something special. Forget the “white elephant” deal. Screw that all the kids are going to see what he’ll give him. He was meant to pull his name from that potato sack. And it doesn’t even matter if Erwin has to get a gift for someone else other than Levi. The thoughts always counted. I want him to know that. His thoughts always counted to me.

"Heichou," Eren whispered. He wanted to show him something, but when Levi turned around his bag that carried the 3D maneuver gear knocked over a fairly large item. 

The old lady jumped at the sound of the crack. “What? Who’s there? Are you one of them titan folk? I don’t taste good!”

The two ignored the old lady and knelt to the ground to assess the damage. Levi picked up the broken item, and gave it a judgmental look, as if it was going to rip his arms off and eat them like french fries.

Then it hit him. It really was meant to be. This gift was perfect. Even for white elephant standards. It’s the thought that counts.

"Eren," Levi said softly. "I found my gift for Erwin."

Eren looked more confused than ever before. “But what does this even mean? And it’s broken!”

Levi didn’t look up at him. “It’s not broken, Eren.”

Eren didn’t want to deal with Levi’s strange behavior anymore. After they quickly dropped off some money within the old lady’s reach, they rode off out of town back to the cabin, hoping that nothing would disturb them on that cold Christmas Eve evening.


	3. Chapter 3

The living room was full again. Levi took his spot on the couch as he watched the others sit around the pile of already-opened and unopened boxes and gift bags on the rug in the middle of the room. He eyed his gift for Erwin - a plain, unwrapped, medium-sized brown box with a lid and his name on it, next to Historia’s silver and blue present she wrapped yesterday. Hanji and Erwin were arriving soon. Levi was ready for his heart to drop once more.

"Eren," Mikasa said, looking straight at him. She was wearing a new, red beanie. It matched the color of her scarf, wrapped snugly around her neck.

Eren laughed. “Sorry, but nope!”

She kept looking at him, and didn’t notice Sasha giving her a toothy grin right next to him. She then turned to Historia, still looking through the kaleidoscope Eren got her.

"Armin," she finally said, turning back towards Eren.

Armin smiled. An old, tattered book entitled  _Fairy Tales_  from Mikasa sat on his lap.  ”Nope, not me either! I got Sasha, remember?”

Mikasa sighed. “Oh. I forgot.”

Sasha couldn’t contain her excitement anymroe. She jumped in front of Eren and Armin. She already put on the potato sack “dress” Armin made her on top of her clothes. “It was me! I got you the hat!”

"Hah," Connie said, still fiddling with the loose, metal spring toy he got from Jean. "You  _did_  get a perfect gift for her.”

Mikasa gave Sasha a small grin, and reached over the pile of gifts to pull her in for a hug. It was the first time Levi actually saw her look sincerely grateful.

"Thank you," Mikasa said. The two sat back down, and Eren pulled another gift from the pile. It was the silver box wrapped in blue ribbon.

"This next gift is for Jean!" Eren said, handing it over to him.

Jean untied the blue ribbon as Hanji burst through the front door. “MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

He prematurely ripped a large portion of the silver wrapping paper along with removing the ribbon, revealing a white box. “Merry Christmas. Jeez, Hanji, you’ll wake the titans with that voice.”

"I don’t think so," a voice mused from behind her. A half-smiling Erwin stepped inside. 

Sure enough, Levi’s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach again. He’d never seen him smile. The fire inside him that diminished into a kindle these past several days ignited again at the sight of Erwin’s neatly parted blonde hair and blue eyes. He wore a forest green sweater, a portion of the right sleeve loosely hanging at his side. He carried a small, rectangular box in his only hand.

Hanji jumped in the circle, between Jean and Historia. She placed her gift, a large, red bag with green paper sticking out, in the pile with the other gifts that have yet to be opened. Erwin walked to the couch to take a seat, inches from Levi.

"Nice of you to join us," Levi said. He didn’t look at Erwin. At least, not yet.

"It’s nice to take a break once in a while," he replied. He was still holding the box in his hand. The box was gold, and had a red bow attached in the corner. The sticker with the recipient’s name was covered with Erwin’s thumb.

"You’re not going to put it with the rest?"

Erwin looked down at his gift. “I’ll go last.”

Levi took a better look at Erwin’s face. It was a little more pale than when he last saw him. It was probably from still working on more plans for the soldiers, or the lack of sleep. Of all times, the holidays shouldn’t be a stressful time for him.

"Are you feeling better?"

Erwin almost laughed. This was the first time Levi saw his almost laugh, too. The fire practically raged inside him. Erwin turned to look at Levi, like he knew that question was coming. “Yes.”

The two heard Hanji guffaw, falling to the floor. “Connie! You clever bastard, you.”

Levi saw her holding a an antique bone saw and a sack of black beans. Jean, leaning away from her, was bewildered. “I don’t get it.”

"You don’t remember Sawney and Bean?" Armin asked.

Jean thought about it, gripping his grass-scented candle from Historia (“you’re a good leader who lights the way!”). “Ohhh…Saw-ney…and Bean…”

"Things feel more festive around here," Erwin said to Levi. "You were okay with this?"

He put a hand to his forehead, and watched Eren dig up an old, bent teaspoon and a blue teacup out of the red bag from Hanji. “I allowed them to take their minds off of what’s been happening, or what  _will_  happen in the near future.”

"What will happen in the near future?"

"Why are you asking me? You know we still need to find Reiner and Bert-"

"That’s not what I meant, Levi."

Levi looked at him. God, those blue eyes were beautiful. He could drown in them. Before he could ask anything else, Eren broke their eye contact to hand Erwin his gift.

"This one’s for you, commander."

"Heh, nice wrapping," Jean said. "I wonder who’s it from."

Levi glared at him. Jean didn’t notice.

Erwin took the box in his lap. He placed his gift right in between him and Levi.

"You know how white elephant works, right commander?" Historia asked.

"I’ve never done it before, but Hanji told me how it works," Erwin said. He lifted the lid and dropped it on the floor in surprise. Levi’s flames froze as he and everyone else watched him lift his gift from the box.

Attached to a wooden base, two porcelain white elephants formed a heart with their trunks. One of the elephants was cracked, and the other’s right front leg was missing. Erwin held up the gift, like it was a trophy for “best Christmas present ever.”

"But it’s broken," Sasha whispered to Armin.

Erwin put the gift back in the box. He was still looking at it. “It’s not broken,” he said softly. “It’s perfect.”

Levi gasped quietly.  _"He likes it,"_  he thought.  _"He really likes it. Oh God, it was a perfect present."_

Historia giggled. “I didn’t mean to go out and  _really_  get white elephants!”

"Well, now you don’t have to guess who got it for you, commander," Connie said. "Everyone’s already been picked except one person."

Erwin looked around the room, then finally at Levi. “You got this for me?”

Levi hesitated, then nodded. He was a time bomb ready to explode at him.  _"Not in front of Hanji. Not in front of Eren. Not in front of everyone else,_ _"_ he continually told himself.

Erwin smiled. It was tugging at Levi’s heart to come out of his chest. “Thank you, Levi. This is very thoughtful of you.”

The room was painfully silent afterwards, as no one wanted to say “aww” or laugh at the three-legged elephant representation of Erwin.

"Open your gift now, heichou," Mikasa said at last.

"Ah, that’s right," Levi said. "I’m the only one left."

 _"That’s right,"_  Levi thought.  _"He had me. All along. Always have and always will."_

Erwin carefully placed his gift on the other side of him on the couch, then handed the small box to Levi. “You’ll like my gift, I think.”

Levi took the box and quickly opened it. Four pieces of white chalk were neatly placed inside the box.

"You got me…chalk?"

Erwin stood up and walked to the threshold of the living room going into the kitchen. “Come here, Levi.”

Levi obeyed. He wasn’t sure what Erwin was getting at. The chalk was no porcelain white elephant; it was just a white elephant.

"Stand right there, and give me one piece."

Levi handed him a piece of chalk. Erwin didn’t raise his arm very high to scratch a line on the wooden panel just above Levi’s head. Everyone went nuts.

"I didn’t know the commander had a sense of humor!" Jean exclaimed. It was a surprise that he got out a sentence between his laughs. "He just got ten times cooler!"

"Don’t worry, heichou!" Hanji said, who also joined in on the ruckus. "You’re still a great leader!"

Erwin smiled. A full smile, this time. A grin. It almost made Levi less embarrassed about this whole situation. He faced away from the kids and looked towards the window at the top of the kitchen. He saw white flakes drift onto the pane.

"I hate to interrupt your fun," Levi said, facing everyone else again, "But I believe that it’s snowing outside."

Everyone gasped. Armin’s face beamed. “Snow? In this area?”

Sasha leaped to her feet. “I want to catch snowflakes on my tongue!”

"Me too!" Historia excitedly exclaimed.

Everyone in the living room rushed out through either the front door or the back door, passing in between Erwin and Levi. The open doors let in a chill that washed over the two.

"Your present was thoughtful, too" Levi said. He tried to let his cold eyes pierce through Erwin’s. He just smiled again. It killed Levi a little more on the inside.

"I’m not done with your gift yet," Erwin explained. He lifted his arm again, much higher than before. He stepped into the kitchen to draw something at the top of the panel. Levi could see that he was still struggling to use his left hand.

It took him a moment, but when he put his arm down. Levi leaned over and tilted his head back to view his “present.”

"I couldn’t find anyone who carried it," Erwin said. He stepped back into the threshold. "It wasn’t in the forest on the way here, either. So this is the best I can do."

Levi squinted at Erwin’s scribbles, and finally figured out what the drawing supposed to be. “Mistletoe.”

That was it. Levi was engulfed now, everywhere. The chill from outside did nothing to cool him down. He leaned back on the panel where Erwin made a line for his height. Erwin stood so close to Levi.

He moved closer, leaning towards his face. The tip of his nose brushed his. Those eyes were ready to pull Levi in and under. He smiled again. “Merry Christmas, Levi. And happy birthday.”

Levi was finally able to crack a smile back. Of course he forgot. Only Erwin remembered that today was his birthday, too.

And the two closed whatever was left of the gap between them with their lips.

_"Merry Christmas, Erwin."_

 

 


End file.
